Very angry post.
I wanted to post this entry after my attachment has ended, but I guess I'll put this up now. And maybe add to it when 22nd May finally comes.
Ever since my attachment started, the question of "Will I ever want to work in this line in the future?" keeps popping into my head. Truth is, I don't know. I've been having a constant mind battle about it. I don't know, its hard to really decide!
Because honestly if you'd ask me if I enjoyed the time of my attachment. I'd tell you I hated it. To be less cynical, there were those really fun times mainly because the production team is filled one too many wacky cast and crew members who do the funniest things to entertain each other. Of course Jo-Ann was always beside me when things were getting too bad. But more than the fun times were the bad times. The times where I forget to bring the correct wardrobe for continuity to prev episodes/scenes, times where props were misplaced/left at the office, times where I forget to order lunch/dinner etc, times where I screw up things with the location etc. And I'm usually not this forgetful, its just that I'm placed with many responsibilities and I just can't will my mind to remember every single detail.
Also working 7 days a week, 12 hours a day. It tires me out, and I'll naturally forget things and make mistakes. What I don't like about making mistakes is that to me, it shows how irresponsible and careless I am. And I HATE to make bad impressions. Also, when I make these mistakes I get reprimanded pretty badly in any kind of vulgarity. Which is, really hard to take.
Especially since, hello. I'm a MOTION GRAPHICS STUDENT. Mostly, I sit infront of a computer all day and do graphics and think of concepts. I have never ever been on set before, I don't know the demands of what is required on set. I don't know what to do and no one taught me anything much about what I'm supposed to do on set. I picked up most things by myself.What gives you the right to call me "fucking colourblind?" and you're only 2 years older than me (oops). What gives you the right to vent your frustration on me, just because I'm an intern and a production assistant doesn't mean I don't have any dignity nor any feelings.
I'm allowed to feel tired like any person is, I'm allowed to make mistakes and learn from them. Considering that I've only been in here for almost 2 months I would say that I am rapidly picking up things, because I've never been on set before and never knew how to run a production before. Cut me some slack will you?
Also, I get phonecalls from my in-charge like almost 24/7. No matter what time, let alone what day it is. So much so that every time my phone rings, a sense of panic starts bubbling inside of me. Along with a mixture of fear and anxiety. I hate it.
I haven't worked in any other places as much, I'm just wondering if its like this everywhere?
I feel like Anne Hathaway from The Devil Wears Prada. Except that for her, she gets to claim her cab fares and almost everything else, when I can't. Everything comes out from my own pay of $450 a month which is always given to me late.
So I'm just wondering if all other production houses will be the same? Of course not the working hours part, that one's understood. I'm just asking if all other production houses also have extremely nasty people who scream vulgarities at you when you didn't even do anything wrong, but they themselves gave you unclear instructions. I'm asking if whether other production houses also don't reimburse you for your transport fees, like when you take a cab at midnight because no other transport is available.
Don't know. Because if the company is filled with extremely nice people who treat me with respect, I wouldn't mind working for them 7 days a week, 12 hours a day nonstop.
What I hate most about being in where I am now, is the lack of respect I've been given. I'm not some tiny little shit for you to trample on.
Whatever it is, 22nd May is coming. It'll be done soon.
Also I haven't mentioned what company it is that I've been working in. So I can't be sued. No one mention it too, k?
Ever since my attachment started, the question of "Will I ever want to work in this line in the future?" keeps popping into my head. Truth is, I don't know. I've been having a constant mind battle about it. I don't know, its hard to really decide!
Because honestly if you'd ask me if I enjoyed the time of my attachment. I'd tell you I hated it. To be less cynical, there were those really fun times mainly because the production team is filled one too many wacky cast and crew members who do the funniest things to entertain each other. Of course Jo-Ann was always beside me when things were getting too bad. But more than the fun times were the bad times. The times where I forget to bring the correct wardrobe for continuity to prev episodes/scenes, times where props were misplaced/left at the office, times where I forget to order lunch/dinner etc, times where I screw up things with the location etc. And I'm usually not this forgetful, its just that I'm placed with many responsibilities and I just can't will my mind to remember every single detail.
Also working 7 days a week, 12 hours a day. It tires me out, and I'll naturally forget things and make mistakes. What I don't like about making mistakes is that to me, it shows how irresponsible and careless I am. And I HATE to make bad impressions. Also, when I make these mistakes I get reprimanded pretty badly in any kind of vulgarity. Which is, really hard to take.
Especially since, hello. I'm a MOTION GRAPHICS STUDENT. Mostly, I sit infront of a computer all day and do graphics and think of concepts. I have never ever been on set before, I don't know the demands of what is required on set. I don't know what to do and no one taught me anything much about what I'm supposed to do on set. I picked up most things by myself.What gives you the right to call me "fucking colourblind?" and you're only 2 years older than me (oops). What gives you the right to vent your frustration on me, just because I'm an intern and a production assistant doesn't mean I don't have any dignity nor any feelings.
I'm allowed to feel tired like any person is, I'm allowed to make mistakes and learn from them. Considering that I've only been in here for almost 2 months I would say that I am rapidly picking up things, because I've never been on set before and never knew how to run a production before. Cut me some slack will you?
Also, I get phonecalls from my in-charge like almost 24/7. No matter what time, let alone what day it is. So much so that every time my phone rings, a sense of panic starts bubbling inside of me. Along with a mixture of fear and anxiety. I hate it.
I haven't worked in any other places as much, I'm just wondering if its like this everywhere?
I feel like Anne Hathaway from The Devil Wears Prada. Except that for her, she gets to claim her cab fares and almost everything else, when I can't. Everything comes out from my own pay of $450 a month which is always given to me late.
So I'm just wondering if all other production houses will be the same? Of course not the working hours part, that one's understood. I'm just asking if all other production houses also have extremely nasty people who scream vulgarities at you when you didn't even do anything wrong, but they themselves gave you unclear instructions. I'm asking if whether other production houses also don't reimburse you for your transport fees, like when you take a cab at midnight because no other transport is available.
Don't know. Because if the company is filled with extremely nice people who treat me with respect, I wouldn't mind working for them 7 days a week, 12 hours a day nonstop.
What I hate most about being in where I am now, is the lack of respect I've been given. I'm not some tiny little shit for you to trample on.
Whatever it is, 22nd May is coming. It'll be done soon.
Also I haven't mentioned what company it is that I've been working in. So I can't be sued. No one mention it too, k?
posted by Natasha at
9:44 AM
1 Comments:
hello love, just popping by!
anyway, i totally feel ya here~
shit like this happens everywhere la, it's an industry thing i guess.. you know the media and shit.. ppl just treat you like a piece of shit/with no respect because they think you're not a big shot yet.. it's all about whose got the bigger say eventually, sad BUT true.
(now you know how i felt THEN, and why i was so bent on leaving and i had so much hatered in me & everything else.. it really felt like no one understood that sort of pain.. but i've learnt to let go.. it's like a learning process to me and to anybody who goes through it.. opens my eyes bigger to reality instead of always thinking the whole world is made of honey and roses (my description you get it) haha..
so anyway, point is.. just take it easy! it'll come to pass.. one day you'll just look back and laugh at these ppl who treated you like shit.. because they're the ones full of shit at the end of the day.
miss u velly much, meet u soon ok! as and when you're free, we shall go have tea tgt!
take care of yourself!
and as cherine will always say...
GUO RAN SHI JIE MEI~! hahaha old times.
love u plentiful, keep the faith! you can do it!!! :>
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