I just don't understand what goes on in your mind sometimes.
Why is it constantly fixated on the darkness in people around you?
See past the dark, there's an even brighter light.

The bad thing about tumblr is that it isn't really a place for really wordy posts.

I still love blogspot I guess. But I'm taking a hiatus for a while ;)

My tumblr: couldbekitschy.tumblr.com

I think I need a new space :)

Love y'all.

Falling for You

A childlike love I had
When we first began
We ran and I fell behind
I’ve been stuck here all this time
You waited like a lover
Who couldn’t let go of his bride
I turned my back away from You
Didn’t shed a tear or cry

But I’m falling for You now
I’m coming back to the place where we parted
It’s for real this time
So I’ll be here waiting where we started

My feet were bruised
I tried but I couldn’t fill Your shoes
I went my way
I bought the lie that I was all grown up
Didn’t need You in my life
The winter left me cold and frozen
Looking for the truth
But searching for the sun
I found the place where I met You

It feels so good
To be in Your arms
You never left me
I just chose to stay behind
I want to thank You for Your love
That gives me freedom
To run back, to come back

All honour, All glory, All praise to You.

Oh You fill those who are empty
And rescue those in the valley
And through it all You calm my soul
Oh You find me in my weakness
And heal the wounds of my heartache
I worship You in spirit and truth

You know something?

The Bible truly is AMAZING (:

Will share another time.

The Zone 2009 Youth Conference

(Very long entry. Just warning you. haha)

Can't really describe how awesome it has actually been for me, and how much it has blessed me. As I've said in my previous post that night will be one of the more memorable nights in my walk of christianity so far. I said "so far" because I know and I expect even greater things to come... Things that will blow my mind completely and make me look up to my Father in awe. We serve a BIG God who loves giving us BIG things, so we have no qualms asking for BIG things (:

Isa and I signed up for both the Zone Conference and the Hillsong United Concert, so that meant a full day of workshops and worship from about 1pm to 10pm. Wowz. I knowz. Long day, but at the end of it I was completely happily exhausted if you know what I mean.

So we were late at first, we both woke late. Lol. Arrived during the middle of the first workshop by the Hillsong United team, mainly about them answering questions on leading worship and music and stuff like that.

The second workshop was lead by Joel Houston of Hillsong United and what he spoke actually drove home such a deep message in my heart. I thought it was entirely relevant for me. And and and, also.. I think he's so endearing. He's so humble and so grateful to God for everything it just makes me go "awwwww...." (I'm still wondering why he's single. PICK ME. PICK MEEE. HAHAHA. lolololol)

Anyway Joel shared about what it REALLY means to live "in this world, but not of it". He mentions that sometimes we depend on ourselves so much to be self righteous, to not conform any longer to the patterns of this world, to try not to do bad things.. So much so that we've established an impenetrable Christian bubble that no longer makes us relevant to this world, to where people need us today.

This to me, was a really "WOWW" moment. Mostly because I watched a video about the SAME exact thing on youtube few weeks ago. And it has been ringing in my mind throughout this week and the last. It's like God is telling me, "My daughter, I love you. Love others, bless others, be a light unto others. Bring them back to me, so that they may know that there is ALWAYS love, hope and meaning in this world."

It's so clear to me now.

Joel said that most of us segregate our lives to what is secular and what is sacred. Meaning we separate our daily works like going to school, doing our work with things that are holy like reading the bible, going to church, worshipping. When actually, ALL of our life is sacred. Its about living only with God, only. It's about knowing who we are through Jesus Christ, knowing our righteousness isn't based on our daily works but because Jesus renewed us so that we may become righteous THROUGH HIM AND HIM ONLY (:

Everyone in this world wears a mask that is devoid of reality, because we live in a world that is swept up in an illusion. But we don't need to veil ourselves, we don't need this mask. We are who we are through God, He makes us who we are. And we have this truth, and this truth is humility to come to this world boldly, to come to God boldly as we are. We don't need to feel like we need to present ourselves to the world. And with this truth, this humility we can become relevant to the world once more. You see the thing is, we NEED to be in this world but we know we are not of it. Not because we try not to be, because we just aren't of it. Its a big difference. And with this truth in our hearts, this is how we reach the world.

I don't know. So amazing to me. I love Joel Houston.

Pastor Judah Smith was SIMPLY AMAZING. I'm quite sad that he seems to be rushing through his workshops and his sermon, it seemed like he had so much more to share but he cut it short because of time. He's so funny and cute and earnest and sincere. You can't help but be blessed by his message no matter how short it may be. In fact, that was what he spoke of.. He preached that God's right hand of blessing, was a picture of how Jacob gave Ephraim his younger son the full double portion of blessing instead of Manessa- the firstborn. The rightful person of his father's full blessing.

We are like Ephraim. We're younger, we're not born right, we're not the first born, we're not supposed to receive blessings at all. But by God's grace, He crossed His right hand over to bless us instead. He blessed us as we are. We are unworthy, sinful, dirty, imperfect and yet He loved us so much He has given us His right hand of blessings, and instead He gave His left hand of wrath to His son Jesus. The perfect, sinless, beautiful one.

It is by God's grace that we're blessed, that we're righteous. WE CANNOT BUT BE BLESSED. We can try running away from this blessing, but it follows us wherever we go. We're just blessed, we just have to know it and to believe it. And it is truly by His grace that makes us discover more about Jesus' sacrifice, His love for us.

And then the worship. Gosh. It was spectacular. It was extremely mind-blowing for me.

You know Hillsong United's song "From the Inside Out" (which we also sang yesterday), there's a part that goes, "The art of losing myself in giving you praise"

I truly lost myself in worship. I wasn't aware of my surroundings around me anymore, it was just me, my voice and God beaming with love for me. And I really just let myself go. I wasn't aware of my actions, I wasn't aware of where my hands were placed and all that.. Worship wasn't superficial anymore, worship was real. When I lifted my hands, I was reaching out for more and more of His love. Every lyric was a cry of my heart. And everything was really, just a response of how loved I feel. I was just basking in God's love, it was so so so amazing.

Indescribable, really. Just so amazing. I'm so blessed!

You know something even more exciting? In a few hours I'll be leaving for church, and its the Hillsong United team leading worship and Pastor Judah Smith preaching again!

I'M SO EXCITED! (: What a wonderful way to end of the week, and to bring these new blessings and revelations to the rest of the week and beyond (:

Father, I love you. You're AMAZING.

"I can't imagine a life without You, without You. Cause its all for You, yeah its all for You, God."