Feliz Navidad

you're shining still behind the clouds,
saying i won't figure you out,
it might be true but let me say,
and try and try for the rest of my life,
i'm not scared of being alone,
i'm just happier being confused,
beside the fire as long as it's with you

Merry Christmas to everyone! How's it been for you guys?

I'm home today for christmas, and honestly it doesn't feel like such a warm holiday for me today. I spent the eve with family yesterday and tons of comfort food, shimmering christmas lights and cheesy christmas music. Today's kind of lonely, I don't know why. I love being home alone on holidays, honestly. But as I was watching corporalcadet on youtube dancing to some techno song I shook my head in amusement and thought to myself, "God, I'm such a loser." Seriously. I'm spending christmas watching staring at my computer screen watching cute guys doing lame techno dancing, some funny reruns of Ellen Degeneres, accompanied by a warm bowl of hearty miso soup. There's no agenda for me today, but perhaps a date with Haruki Murakami's "A Wild Sheep Chase" (which I got for christmas yesterday) and some depressing christmas movie on TV.

I'm perfectly fine being that much loserish though. I usually like it, if it makes sense. I mean if you know me well enough, you'd know I hate to stay out late past 10. My internal body clock strikes a non-existent curfew that makes me feel all worried and tinglish inside. I know. I suck. Also, I like doing things alone. I have shopped alone, watched movies alone, ate out alone. I don't like talking much, on msn as well, or on the phone or whatever. I've been appearing offline for the past few days, and if you do see me online and try to talk to me, most likely I won't reply you. And I'm sorry, hahaha. It's not your fault honestly, its just me. I'm socially phobic, and sometimes I just don't. Like. To. Talk. To. People.

Anyway point is. I'm here rambling because I'm feeling kind of forlorn. And. The skies are depressingly grey. I have a sniffly nose, and a half migraine whilst listening to semi depressing music. Right now its "Why Should The Fire Die" by Nickel Creek. (yes, its the song that I put on top of this entry. I just put it in. lol) For some reason I'm into some bluegrass music. For some unknown reason. I used to hate all the country shit, but I've always loved Irish music and bluegrass has that irish influence in it which makes everything sound so beautiful.

Ahhh. I just lost my point again. Never mind.

So, happy christmas everyone. Hope you all had a great time (: