Is there a hole in your heart?

And on nights like these.
Nights with mocha cups and caffeine spilt on dresses.
Nights with black skies and distorted voices in your head.
Nights with white walls and biting lips.
Licking spoonfuls of Nutella.
Contemplating a sore throat.
Nights when you don't really care.
And nights when you tell yourself "I'll never be the best you'll ever have"
And wishing you could be pretty.
Wishing for perfection.
She's pretty and she's interesting and she's perfect.
Does she hook your heart? But does she have yours?
Knowing you'll wait. I'll wait too.
Then stick another mouthful of Nutella inside.
Sore throat comes in the morning.

Studio Project

(:

School's out!

Finally everything is over. Have got lots to blog. But currently too tired. More later (:

Semihalf.dot rocks

I just had to post these picture cos I felt they were too adorable. Haha. Taken during our video shoot on Friday, and we all got a little high and crazy after the shoot. Ended up dancing around the green screen room. Hahaha.










Thanks Maureen for being our very awesome model. And very sorry we had to make you walk up and down nonstop in heels for like, 6 hours. Hahaha.





Jiaen, group leader and director (:



Ben, camera man.




Me, makeup artist/hairstylist/fan operator/sometimes camera woman




Busy time (:





And we played truth or dare afterwards.
Ben had to type out his name on the keyboard using his tongue



I had to eat tissue.




And also pole dance around Jodie. Haha. Couldn't stop laughing. LOL.




Fun fun (:

Few days ago, a friend said this to me.
"You are precious and very loved, Natasha. Thank God."
Till now, reading this still makes me feel better about everything else.
Because sometimes I just need to be reminded of God's love.
I thank God for you, Matt.

semihalf. dot

I think my studio project group rocks.

Like fuck yeah.

True.

pain.

We’re all searching
Time’s unfolding
Trying to fill our lives with meaning
Still we’re learning
How to breathe amongst the pain and suffering
When all we need is peace of mind

Stop running away

Beliefs are changing
Still we’re paying
Power holding back the people

All we need is peace of mind

-Stop running away by Telepopmusik

I made alot of mistakes in my mind, in my mind.

I guess God didn't have a plan for us for nothing. Maybe everything was just meant to be this way.. No wait, scratch that. Things WERE supposed to be this way. And letting things fall into place sometimes just is the right thing to do, I guess. Whatever it is, thought it over and decided not to be so mean. Hahahahaha. Its just that ego thing that gets to you sometimes I guess. Need to pull myself back on that. After all, we're all imperfect and stupid and dumb. I'm not great. Never was.

Thoughts need to be organized.

My typo assignment. Yipee.

Thank You, Lord.

What awesome timing.

Received an email from Matthew, and he shared a (video) that had blessed him. Clicked on the link, and watched the video for myself. And I cried, like literally wept like crazy. Tears were falling uncontrollably and my heart just poured. It was so great, and so miraculous that this video was given to me right at the point when I was feeling my lowest. I've always not cried out to God even when in distress, because I felt my little selfish worldly problems didn't deserved to be heard, and that they were always something I myself, could get through.

And God reminded me that He is willing to hear everything and anything, and He and I would make it through this. Words can't describe the sudden relief I feel, and the sudden closeness I feel with God. But i really really thank God, for His time, His words, and His presence.

And thank you Matthew for the video, you don't know how much the message means to me at this point of time. (:

PS clicked on the video link if you need blessings :)

Sank

Its been such a long time since I felt this heaviness inside. For once, I really feel as if I'm not able to do this anymore. I've always had the strength to push through till the last, and not caring if its just scraping through but at least getting it done with the best I can do. But now, I can't even tell myself its gonna work. I can't even sit down and really start doing the damned thing because all I can think of is to give up. And that is so unlikely of me. I've been squeezed every ounce of strength out of me.

I just wish I had the courage to not care for once. To not do anything but to do what I feel. But then again if we rely on feelings all the time, the world would probably end sooner. Sigh.

God, please help.